tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post5995313849239627393..comments2023-11-02T19:19:15.129+05:30Comments on Death Ends Fun: Now we have themDilip D'Souzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08221707482541503243noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-39886794722499888712007-02-28T11:28:00.000+05:302007-02-28T11:28:00.000+05:30oh i was neither mad nor a momma then... will writ...oh i was neither mad nor a momma then... will write to you soon....am the same batch as annie zaidi.the mad mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14535453643548976883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-56986145278051986772007-02-03T18:14:00.000+05:302007-02-03T18:14:00.000+05:30Nabila, I didn't get you wrong, I understand what ...Nabila, I didn't get you wrong, I understand what you're saying. You're right, and that's in a sense just the point of this article -- why should adoption be a big deal at all? Ideally I'd like a time to come about when a paper wouldn't even think of adoption as a "core issue" -- it would be that bland a topic.<br /><br />Thanks Karthik and Mad Momma. No, I don't remember a Mad Momma from XIC, you'll have to furnish some other reminder! But it's always nice to hear from someone from there. Best to you.Dilip D'Souzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08221707482541503243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-73722170179969367992007-02-01T15:57:00.000+05:302007-02-01T15:57:00.000+05:30Congratulations on the latest addition to your fam...Congratulations on the latest addition to your family... Knowing you, I am sure she will have the most wonderful family.. did i mention that you taught me at XIC?<br /><br />Had wanted to adopt but with a bad in law situation and plenty of trouble it was just one more thing to add to the mess we call our life... I hope you will write about her more often so we share in the joy....the mad mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14535453643548976883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-34895501664566409902007-01-31T02:26:00.000+05:302007-01-31T02:26:00.000+05:30Because there are people who occasionally ask us w...<i>Because there are people who occasionally ask us why we adopted our daughter, whereas nobody ever asks "why did you give birth to your son?" <br /></i><br /><br />A fact that no one think's about. Great post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-83832946427345535452007-01-30T20:04:00.000+05:302007-01-30T20:04:00.000+05:30Mr. D' Souza...I belive u got me wrong...I am not ...Mr. D' Souza...I belive u got me wrong...I am not throwing those questions on you. I appreciate your actions and have loved the way you have expressed yourself. What I am talking is something differrent...its not about u or me...it is abt d mentality dat people have. Why should 'adoption' be a big deal with 'certain' people?Nabila Zehra Zaidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07014497736072192418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-65262092860602403392007-01-30T14:17:00.000+05:302007-01-30T14:17:00.000+05:30Thanks for the kind words, ladies and gents. Sorry...Thanks for the kind words, ladies and gents. Sorry for the late response, I was travelling; back now, I'm preparing for more travel!<br /><br />This may answer Nabila and some other questions here, our reasoning for having a biological child and then an adopted one: very simply, we wanted it to be clear to both kids always that they were wanted. Not that either was a option turned to because other options did not work, but that it was a choice we made to have them.<br /><br />Anirudh, some lines from this were part of an earlier piece. The rest was written for this time.<br /><br />I don't know that I want to enter into outsourcing discussions ...Dilip D'Souzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08221707482541503243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-61095190376338010052007-01-30T13:59:00.000+05:302007-01-30T13:59:00.000+05:30Conservatively speaking, why is it people first em...Conservatively speaking, why is it people first emphasise on having a biological child than adopting one?<br />Why is adoption a "second" option in most of the cases? <br />I am too immature to understand something like this on my own... but I have seen how people just keep wanting and trying to have "their own" baby. They say stuff like, "Your baby is your baby." Is the adopted kid not "your own"?Nabila Zehra Zaidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07014497736072192418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-37096031273862958302007-01-29T13:24:00.000+05:302007-01-29T13:24:00.000+05:30Lovely post. It's so nice to hear about such thing...Lovely post. It's so nice to hear about such things.<br /><br />I feel bad when I hear about people trying to have kids desperately but they don't want to consider adoption. I don't want to judge them - perhaps they have their own reasons but still it would be so good if more people would consider adopting kids.<br /><br />Kudos to you!Swapnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12576492000140789947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-17406108634508846572007-01-29T00:18:00.000+05:302007-01-29T00:18:00.000+05:30I find myself naive to comment, but a lot of miser...I find myself naive to comment, but a lot of miseries abound this earthlok, for the very simple reason that we have not put our own lives in order. <br />Is it not simple that either you love or you do not? How can someone love and hate? So, if you love, you would love children ,biological, adopted, black, white, challenged, deaf, dumb, Indian, Chinese and the list goes on. If you do not love, you would not even love your own biological children. We live in the divided paradise of our so called love in superlatives , ridden with conflicts all the time.<br />As Dilip says that the adoption should become as immaterial, as the daily existence of ours. It is so natural and joyful in real sense. Thanks for sharing your joy with us.<br />abhishekAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-23297439339777624262007-01-27T18:20:00.000+05:302007-01-27T18:20:00.000+05:30Always great to read Dilip's views..especially on ...Always great to read Dilip's views..especially on something as personal as adopting. Way to go.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-69895608455624934742007-01-24T20:50:00.000+05:302007-01-24T20:50:00.000+05:30Wonderful story; hope there are more people like y...Wonderful story; hope there are more people like you in the world, I'm sure there are plenty of children that need good homes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-14782513720543441442007-01-24T16:24:00.000+05:302007-01-24T16:24:00.000+05:30Rahul - I'm not sure if its the same as outsourcin...Rahul - I'm not sure if its the same as outsourcing, but let's leave it here. I think I've got what you're saying, and, yes, its not relevant here. Thanks.Bombay Addicthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17813763491251675343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-70166636854922991352007-01-24T16:13:00.000+05:302007-01-24T16:13:00.000+05:30BA - conventionally, quotes from previous posts ar...BA - conventionally, quotes from previous posts are italicised (blogger doesn't seem to accept the "blockquote" tag in comments).<br /><br />You say<br /><I>have you heard of instances where pregnancies have been, well, outsourced?</i><br /><br />Google <A HREF="http://www.google.co.in/search?q=%22rent+a+womb%22&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&rls=com.ubuntu:en-US:official&client=firefox-a">"rent a womb"</A>...<br /><br />Like I said, this is not what we are talking about.Rahul Siddharthanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04809667965184094636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-11246728872901946662007-01-24T15:26:00.000+05:302007-01-24T15:26:00.000+05:30Jai - I appreciate your follow-up comment, but aga...Jai - I appreciate your follow-up comment, but again I'm a bit lost on the point you're making (reg. the economically weaker mother). <br /><br />However, this is Dilip's space and like you, I would not want to hijack it. We're not at war, but may peace be with you brother.Bombay Addicthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17813763491251675343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-73200347634777630282007-01-24T15:14:00.000+05:302007-01-24T15:14:00.000+05:30BA,
I introduced 'outsourcing' into this discussi...BA,<br /><br />I introduced 'outsourcing' into this discussion and should take the blame for it, not Rahul. Some clarification has been attempted at comment #10. Its an inappropriate term to convey what I felt. Peace. Please.<br /><br />Rahul owns the rest of his response.<br /><br />Dilip,<br /><br />Sorry for hijacking the discussion on this very commendable post into a rather offbeat track.<br /><br />regards,<br />JaiJai_Choorakkothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11795629014937167288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-3761760700087846022007-01-24T15:11:00.000+05:302007-01-24T15:11:00.000+05:30Hadn't you posted this a few months back?Hadn't you posted this a few months back?akhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15385267278249934192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-87325129599380250162007-01-24T14:44:00.000+05:302007-01-24T14:44:00.000+05:30Another valid response to my previous stated posit...Another valid response to my previous stated position is that the economically weaker mother also likely was not a willing, informed and consenting parent-to-be ( since the kids are up for adoption).<br /><br />She would certainly be happy that the kids are getting adopted.<br /><br />regards,<br />JaiJai_Choorakkothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11795629014937167288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-61951729128005328602007-01-24T14:37:00.000+05:302007-01-24T14:37:00.000+05:30Rahul - Sorry if I'm dragging this, but I just wan...Rahul - Sorry if I'm dragging this, but I just want to get what you've said. <br /><br />I understand outsourcing somewhat loosely as "getting work done elsewhere because its cheaper" (<a href="http://www.google.co.in/search?q=define+outsourcing&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a">here</a> is a search). <br /><br />What's that got to do with adoption ? <br /><br />Also if this is not unheard of, where is it heard ? I mean have you heard of instances where pregnancies have been, well, outsourced ? <br /><br />Thanks.Bombay Addicthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17813763491251675343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-10495980830996630942007-01-24T14:21:00.000+05:302007-01-24T14:21:00.000+05:30... outsourcing ...
Something sounded a little of...... outsourcing ...<br /><br />Something sounded a little off about the statement that I excerpted in my previous comment and I couldnt quite place it even as I was typing it in.<br /><br />Some concern that it sounded like getting somebody lower down the economic ladder to go thru stuff you dont want to yourself ( thats where the Mex stuff came from).<br /><br />The point came out very badly and I accept Rahul's response in toto. Also no offence meant, n!<br /><br />regards,<br />JaiJai_Choorakkothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11795629014937167288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-5606114426434983622007-01-24T13:04:00.000+05:302007-01-24T13:04:00.000+05:30One of our children was born in USA and is too fai...One of our children was born in USA and is too fair. May be there was a mistake in the hospital or... . What ever it is, even for an atheist like me, any child is a gift from god.gaddeswaruphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16509075029154476375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-47425420679081461292007-01-24T12:54:00.000+05:302007-01-24T12:54:00.000+05:30sounds a lot like outsourcing the unpleasant stuff...<i>sounds a lot like outsourcing the unpleasant stuff eg. to Mexican / bangladeshi immigrants in a different scenario.</i><br /><br />Jai - it would be outsourcing if you asked another woman to have the child on your behalf. That's not unheard-of, but it isn't what we are talking about.<br /><br />In our country with over a billion people, we don't really need more children, but many of the children we do have need parents. That's the main argument for adoption, in my opinion.Rahul Siddharthanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04809667965184094636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-26575787166184032032007-01-24T12:18:00.000+05:302007-01-24T12:18:00.000+05:30DD: Came over from MumbiGirl's blog. Superb piece....DD: Came over from MumbiGirl's blog. Superb piece. I feel happy for you and yours.Dadojihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09116292221888902617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-42396524715589748552007-01-24T11:36:00.000+05:302007-01-24T11:36:00.000+05:30Jai: Hmmm, that was badly worded I'll grant you th...Jai: Hmmm, that was badly worded I'll grant you that. But no such implication was intended. <br /><br />Rahul, thanks for answering my questions so thoughtfully. Appreciate it. <br /><br />n!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-75419694183747553102007-01-24T11:28:00.000+05:302007-01-24T11:28:00.000+05:30Dilip - absolutely splendid piece. Just loved it.
...Dilip - absolutely splendid piece. Just loved it.<br /><br />Jai - Are you saying adoption is like outsourcing the unpleasant task of pregnancy to mexican/bangladeshi immigrants ? Did I get you right ?Bombay Addicthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17813763491251675343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8070362.post-36022023289613011702007-01-24T11:11:00.000+05:302007-01-24T11:11:00.000+05:30Dont get me wrong certainly support adoption but.....Dont get me wrong certainly support adoption but...<br /><br />...it doens't make sense to go through pregnancy and its attendant hassles, not to forget labour pains....<br /><br />sounds a lot like outsourcing the unpleasant stuff eg. to Mexican / bangladeshi immigrants in a different scenario. Not that that is automatically invalid.<br /><br />regards,<br />JaiJai_Choorakkothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11795629014937167288noreply@blogger.com