BT fix

And now for our semi-regular feature: gleanings from that excellent source of life-changing news, Bombay Times. All from today's issue (May 7 2005).

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On Page 3, immediately below a photograph of elegantly curved hips and "Bebe" plastered across an equally elegant chest, I find this ad:

"Heal Your Depression: Therapeutic Workshop Drugless Therapy ... Heal yourself with your own subconscious mind. Therapy includes Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy Psychospiritualtherapy."

All this in a two-day workshop to be conducted by Dr Ruupa Kapadia. Yes, two "u"s.

That spelling is in line with the galloping fascination that's out there, for doubling letters. Apparently this improves life prospects in various ways. Thus we have Shobhaa, Jayalalithaa, Kkahani, Ekktaa and so forth. And oh yeah, near my home is a florist with the charming and bucolic name of Tuliip Spriing. I kiid you not.

But back to the ad in BT. Shouldn't the words it sports be spelled differently? Thus "druugless", and "suubconsciouus", and "incluudes", and "psychospirituualtherapy." Maybe even "psychoospirituualtheraapy."

Don't youu thiinkk ssoo?

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Name Calling

"Paris Hilton, who's out promoting the horror flick The House of Wax by doing that dead-eyed, monosyllabic thing she does so well, reveals that she and same-named billionaire beau Paris Latsis keep from getting confused by calling each other pet names. He calls her 'Princess' or 'Gorgeous' and she calls him 'Babaluna.'"

I have three reactions.

One, getting confused? You mean like if Paris calls out "Yo, Paris!", Paris is left to wonder "Was that me calling? Was I calling me? Or is Paris calling Paris?"

Two, what is that "dead-eyed, monosyllabic thing she does so well"? What she was doing on a certain rather well-known video?

Three, shouldn't that be "Babaluuna"?

By the way, I also learn that this model couple is planning to call their first child Paris. So if they happen to go live in Paris, I'm planning to write the tyke a letter. I'm going to simply love addressing it to "Paris, c/o Paris et Paris, Paris."

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Must See Must Do: Events

"University of Mumbai: The Dept of Extra-Mural Studies' course in 'Brush up your grammer and conversational English', from May 9."

Maybe they need a course called "Bruush uup youur spelling" too.

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"Institute of Human Technology: One month part-time certificate course to become a 'Sex Educator', designed to train those who are keen to learn how to impart knowledge about human sexuality to youth from May 7."

I'm posting this from the Institute, where the queue to sign up for the course stretches for, oh I'd say about 4759 people in front of me. Hey you! Join the line!