Well, that's what one Hari Pawar, a gangster "externed" from Bombay, did near Poladpur, if the front page story on today's Hindustan Times is to be believed. Pawar, his cousin (an "artifact dealer", if you please) and several accomplices took a gas cylinder to the bridge, hired a local welder to cut the beams into pieces over three days, hid the pieces in the bushes on one bank of the river, and finally put them on trucks and carted it all off.
"The roar of the engines" of the trucks, says the HT report, "kept villagers awake those nights."
(Husband, sitting bolt upright in bed: "Honey, what's that godawful racket?"
Exasperated wife: "Oh, it's just the neighbours stealing the bridge, go back to sleep. And don't hog the blanket, OK?")
What's more, the "heist was discovered", says the HT report, by two watchmen who "noticed the bridge missing."
How would you react if you "noticed a bridge missing"?
(Husband, worried look on his face: "Honey, have you seen the bridge? I can't seem to find it this morning."
Exasperated wife: "Have you checked the bathroom? You're always leaving your things there!")