October 16, 2005

Looking Some Thing So different

Nuggets from recent newspapers.


Hindustan Times Classifieds: under "Health & Physical Fitness" are a whole lot of ads for Bombay-based masseurs. A sampling:
  • Relax Full Mind & Body. Russian Indian S. African European. Male/Female Available. Any Time Anywhere.

  • MUMBAI BEAUTY As Never Before At Your Doorstep. Hi Profile Models. M/F Available.

  • SELECTED MODELS. High class soft english spoken. INDIAN, RUSSIAN, EUROPEAN, M/F Masseurs Available.

  • HIGH CLASS MASSAGE SERVICES. Full range of world class Beauty Services. R U Looking Some Thing So different Quick Services.

  • CELEBRATLY OFFER. 5-7 Hotel Guest. International Model Available. Soft English Speaking.

  • Feel Frozen Matter. Decent, Elite, Beautiful, Indian, Russian, M/F Masseurs Avail.

Very nice. Only, what's this about soft English? Does "Celebratly" qualify as soft English, and what does it mean? And I'm not sure I really want to know, but anyway: what's this Frozen Matter that we must Feel?


Attached to an Delhi article about home theatre systems is a photograph of a couple, man has a remote pointed at a screen on the wall. Screen is filled with an underwater scene, fish and anemones. In the foreground, between the man and woman, are two wineglasses and a third glass with what looks like cut lemons in them.

Caption for this photograph reads, in full: Wineglasses have huge bowls so that when we toss our head ba.

The fools! As you see, they truncated the sentence, which should have read: Wineglasses have huge bowls so that when we toss our head baa-baa black sheep.


Small ad in Delhi paper, "EXPLORE EXPORT POTENTIAL IN UKRAINE". This is about an international trade fair there at the end of this month, "a golden opportunity to explore potential of your product."

And the cost of putting up a stall at this fair? The Package cost is kept as Rs 1.70 lacs for 9 sq. mtrs. Space (or only 9 sq. mtrs. space at Rs 90,000).

Good! What a golden opportunity! I'll take 9 square metres, please. What was that price again, Rs 273?