April 13, 2006

This misty morning

A few bits and pieces, random thoughts and musings, from here and there and possibly nowhere.

***

Lead article in "Style" section of the Hindustan Times (Mon Apr 10) is about recent episodes of clothes falling off. It says: "Police will now whet all shows to see that 'accidents' don't happen again."

Well, that's good to know! About time!

Only thing, I'm trying to figure out which the police mean to do: they will now sharpen all shows, as you might whet a knife? Or they will stimulate all shows, as you might whet your appetite?

If the latter, may I suggest that a good way to do it would be to have clothes falling off.

Hmm, maybe that's already been tried.

***

In Big fonts zindabad, you will recall the IIPM ad that had these lines:
    Applications are invited for Spring-Summer admissions 2006-08/9 to IIPM's unique

    superior to MBA and BBA courses
    in Planning and Entrepreneurship.

Well, don't ever carry the impression that we two-bit journalists write in a vacuum. Because today's Hindustan Times carries a similar ad, and the lines have been changed! Yes, they now look like this:
    Applications are invited for Spring-Summer admissions 2006-08/9 to IIPM's unique superior to

    MBA and BBA

    courses in Planning and Entrepreneurship.
I'd like to think I'm responsible. It's for making a difference like this that we two-bit journalists write. Thank you for your accolades.

I'm sure that now, with this change, you won't go away with the impression that IIPM hands out MBAs and BBAs.

(See the ad here)

***

"10 simple ways to be a real beauty", in "Me" magazine that's part of DNA on Sunday, has these two particularly excellent tips.
    #3: Give your skin a vacation! Just for a day, observe a "makeup fast". No lipstick, mascara, concealers or chemicals. Your skin will get the gift of free breathing, and reward you with a glow that outshines anything makeup can do.

    #5: Some of the world's earliest beauty manuals lavished praise on lettuce as a beauty aid. Chop up a handful of fresh green lettuce leaves into a glass bowl. Pour boiling water over them to steep for half an hour. Then blend the leaves in a mixer. Strain and refrigerate in a spray bottle. Mist lightly onto face for a bright, lovely glow.
Thing is, I'm unable to choose between these two glows. One day, my skin has the gift of free breathing, the next day it's got this fine green stuff all over it. And when my friends ask me what it is, I say eagerly, "Lettuce!"

They sort of sidle away, quickly.

My suggestion: Eat a pile of garlic raw, then wander the streets misting this lettuce concoction lightly onto everyone else's face. They'll start thumping you, but at least your skin will get the gift of free breathing.

In fact, they will get a gift free too. Your garlic-flavoured breathing. They'll love you for it. They'll make your skin glow some more, I'm sure.

***

Strolling through Thakurdwar and nearby today, spied three intriguing signs.

First was above a doctor's clinic on Vallabhbhai Patel Road, and it said:
    Affiliated to Long Island Institute of Ericksonian Hypnosis.

Second was next to a whole series of this city's sordid "cages", where women in very tight blouses and too much lipstick stand around and look at you meaningfully. This is what the sign said:
    Coffin will be issued free of charge to any people and caste indeed no relation.

Third was in the glass-fronted window of a corner shop called "Inlook". Large poster of a woman in a very tight bra, and next to her this: "Style: Krutika Chicken."

I was on my way into the shop to ask if they had "Krutika Turkey" and "Krutika Egret" style bras, but my strolling companion dragged me bodily back out. Didn't have the time to check if coffins were available.