Nestling amid the hormones

Titbits from here and there.

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Like you, I've always wanted to know about what drives the female football fan. So naturally, I made my way to that learned publication, The Times of India (June 6) where I found a scholarly exploration of the phenomenon titled Football Goes Bust!

I was glad I did, because I found two excellent bits of information.

First was a quote from "socialite" Kishen Mulchandani:

"Without undermining the popularity of the game as a sport, I must say that all this skin show does contribute in making football one of the most popular spectator sports of our times."

Translation (I think): "Without saying football is not popular, I must say it is very popular."

Second was a quote from "sexologist" Rajan Bhonsle:

"Exhibitionist tendencies creep in when female fans are not used to sudden hormonal surges causing them to start flashing their breasts. On the other hand, the male mind often seeks symbols that represent their basic desires."

So that's it! Sudden hormonal surges that they are not used to!

I have written a letter to the Times asking for a list of places and happenings that cause these particular sudden hormonal surges. I was careful to mention that, being a male, I only need this information because this list is a symbol that represents my basic desires.

Also, can someone tell me how to stuff this tongue back in my mouth?

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The Hindustan Times (June 7) has a news item titled "Born in Kolhapur, shot in Kashmir", about a young man who was shot dead in "a firefight with the Army". It contains this sentence:

The police in Kolhapur -- nestling in the Sahyadri Hills amid serene sugar-cane fields and chappals -- are still waiting for confirmation ... [etc]

Question: why are the police in Kolhapur nestling amid serene sugar-cane fields?

Question: why are the police in Kolhapur nestling amid chappals?

Question: how do you nestle amid chappals?