February 11, 2007

Can't buy me love

Captain Lisa Nowak, an astronaut, is quite a lady. According to the NYT, she woke up somewhere in Texas some days ago and got ready for another boringly normal day. Yep, she got dressed, picked up a few garbage bags, a pair of latex gloves, a disguise of sorts -- with me so far? -- a steel mallet, a knife, a pepper spray and a pistol.

And diapers.

Then she put all this stuff in her car. Then she got in herself. Then she set off to drive to Florida, 900 miles away.

Boringly normal.

In Florida, she made her way to the airport at Orlando, where she found Air Force Captain Colleen Shipman. Still boringly normal, she sprayed Ms Shipman with the pepper spray.

Why? Because she thought Ms Shipman was "a rival for the affections of another astronaut." Just the usual, you know? Just the way to win your man, you know?

Ms Nowak was arrested and charged with attempted murder. And you're asking, of course, why the garbage bags? Simple: to put over her head in the photograph of her that graced Page A14 of the NYT two days ago. Oh wait, I looked more closely and it isn't a garbage bag. It's an overcoat. Guess she took one of those along too.

No, you're really asking, of course, why the diapers? Ms Nowak, says that NYT report, "wore diapers on the drive so she would not have to stop to relieve herself."

Ah, love. Boringly normal.

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