April 16, 2007

Raindrops keep fallin'

Nuggets from various publications, offered with titular comment:


That's right, I'm absent! Damn!

From full page ad for Chate Coaching Classes (Hindustan Times April 15), section titled "Our Staff":

Absentees are informed immediately over telephone at their residences. This is to keep check on their punctuality and discipline.


That's sort of, you know, so kind of kind of you

From "Kurt Vonnegut, counterculture's novelist, dies at 84" (HT April 13):

"I think he was a man [with] a sort of steady moral compass, who was always sort of looking at the big picture ...", said Joel Bleifuss.


"He was sort of like nobody else," said Gore Vidal


Life of Brain in Port of Spian

In "Lara dominated our team meetings", column by Javagal Srinath (HT April 15):

Number of times the cricketer Brain Lara's name is spelled correctly: 5

Number of times his name is spelled -- if you can believe it -- "Brian Lara" instead: 3


Books, sports, academics ... what was that other one?

From "Sex And The City", Q/A column featuring sexologist Dr Kavan Lakdawala (Hindustan Times Cafe April 15):

Q: I am in my teens and I have a boyfriend who is 21 and we have indulged in sex. These days, he is out of the town on work most of the time and I miss having sex. What should I do?

A: You seem to have become obsessed with the physical pleasures associated with sex. ... [T]ry to divert your energies and priorities. You need to focus your energies on other activities like books or sports or academics.

Self-masturbation may be an alternative for you though


Not tonight, honey, I can't turn off this shower

From "Yin and Yang", Q/A column featuring Feng Shui Master Mohan Deep (DNA WestCoast April 15):

Q: ... The colour of our bedroom walls is blue. A poster of the Niagara Falls is on the Southeast wall. Is this correct Feng Shui?
-- Ritesh, Goregaon (W)

A: [H]aving water in the bedroom can cause problems in a marital relationship

1 comment:

Bombay Addict said...

Hilarious! Ho boy..thank you for making me laugh, I so needed it!