January 24, 2006

Country called Rome

And because I'm still a little too distracted by events, particularly a recent sad event, to do something serious here, this small collection of odds and ends from the last few days. Oddities and endities, I should say.

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From my old favourite, the "Love Actually..." column in the Hindustan Times (January 21):
    Hi: This is Kunal from Borivli (Mumbai). I am looking for good girl friends, who have same hobbies which I have. My hobbies are making friends, travelling, movies and sharing problems.
Now there's a hobby worth having!

"Yo Kunal, whassup?"

"Not much, mate. Just settling down to share some problems, that's all."

Just the ticket to attract the "good girl friends", lots and lots of whom have the same hobby.

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From the "Astro Query" column in the HT (January 22), answers given by their resident astrologer Dr Prem Kumar Sharma:
    Q: When will my daughter get married? What will her married life be like? Kanakadurga Kothari, New Delhi.

    A: The chances of settling abroad seem to be high. However, you may have to work hard in this direction to get your goals achieved. The year 2006 will bring good career opportunities for you.
Splendid. And what about my daughter, when will she get married and what will her married life be like?

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Same Sunday paper has an item titled "Visually delightful", which seems to be a photo feature on something called the "Elite calendar". All the photos present have suitably brown, suitably minimally-clothed, oddly vapid looking models with various swelling parts of their bodies on view. One shot has three ladies entwined with each other -- which is probably why they look like they're in great pain. It has this caption:
    Aesthetic trio: Clockwise from right Smita Lasrado, Carol Gracias and Aarthi Menon figure in tonal shades that bring out the emotive nuances.
Damn! Here I was, thinking they figured in emotive shades that bring out the tonal nuances!

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Still on the same Sunday paper ... beside "Visually delightful" is an item titled "Sweet seduction" with a picture of a pouty lady wearing nothing but ... chocolate. One Negar Khan. She says about plastering herself with the brown stuff:
    For the first time I realised that chocolates are tastier when applied on the body. ...
    I am completely nude in this shot and my body parts are covered with only chocolate syrup. Apart from being a classic and an artistic shot, the feeling of having the sweet liquid on my body was a sexy feeling.
Well. What's left to say when she's said it all, hmm?

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From "Factopedia" in DNA's "ya!" Sunday magazine, these nuggets of useful information:
    On every continent there is a country called Rome.
True. And on every continent, the moon's made of green cheese.
    Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his first left foot.
That's right. His second left foot had just been recalled by the manufacturer. "It won't work in all that green cheese," they told him.
    The Chinese first discovered tea. Actually it was a Chinese Emperor who first tasted the brew in 2732 b.c. when some tea leaves accidentally blew into a pot of boiling water.
Yeah, but what date in 2732 b.c., and what time of day, and was it raining then? I hate it when people can't be more precise with dates and times.

***

Seen on the back of a packet of Lays' new "Latino Style" chips:
    CONTAINS ADDED FLAVOURS: NATURAL AND NATURE IDENTICAL
That's what I wish all my food would be! "Nature identical"!

3 comments:

Charu said...

your daghter's married life will be in trouble if the orange-flinging habit gets known. so hush it up right away

Kunal (from Borivli) said...

I have a problem with this post. And I'd like to share it with your daughter- maybe she can be my girlfriend? She could also share her orange-chucking problems with me. And then we'll get married.

Tanuj said...

am not that enthusiastic about an astronaut with two left legs, though i like the idea of a maverick two-headed president. some people i know have expressed interest in the triple-breasted whore of eroticon VI. others freak and shriek when they learn about what happened to lintilla's 578 billionth clone.