March 30, 2006

Strove hard for stephanie

Smaller town newspapers, I love 'em! One supplement of one issue of one such, and there's plenty to enjoy. Check it out (The Hitavada, Nagpur, March 22):

Headline reads: Akola MC betters of encroachers, fences land for parking scheme.

MC means Municipal Corporation. Apart from that, one week later I am still trying to fathom what "betters of encroachers" might mean. Anyone?

***

There's a procession for peace winding its way through Naxalite-dominated areas of Gadchiroli district. It started from a village called Asaralli, and what, according to a news item I'm looking at, is special about Asaralli?

This: it has a "22-year-old young sarpanch" called Damodhar Sidam.

In 20 years, Sidam will be "42-year-old middle-aged sarpanch".

In 40 years, Sidam will be "62-year-old old sarpanch".

At some point, he will be "xx-year-old dead sarpanch".

***

A report about a ceremony says: Dr Ashok Kamat ... Vice Chancellor Dr Pankaj Chande, Vijaya Shewalkar were chiefly present.

A report about another ceremony says: Headmaster and teachers were prominently present.

Very good. And who were chiefly or prominently absent? Who were not-so-chiefly or not-so-prominently present?

***

Several items about various seminars and camps held here and there.

One item ends thus: Ananta Bahakar worked hard.

Another ends thus: Those who worked hard are Ramkrishna Harse, Manohar Lothe and others.

A third ends thus: Students strove hard for success the programme [sic].

A fourth ends thus: Nandram Bhusum, Suresh Dhikar, Ramu Chimote and others strove hard for success of the workshop.

A fifth ends thus: Nandu Lakhe, Rajesh Pinjarkar and bank employees worked hard.

Clearly, lots of people worked hard at lots of things. How delightful that a paper should take note.

***

And my favourite, far and away. From Hinganghat, a correspondent reports: Bicycle thefts are on the rise in the town in the recent past ... It may be recalled that thieves had lifted stephanie and a new cycle [two months ago].

Yes, but at least they didn't lift Katy and Nancy and Margo and Tricia! Let's be thankful for small mercies, shall we?

4 comments:

Fadereu said...

about "betters of encroachers":

I feel the headline is trying to be sarcastic/ironic in the sense of saying: Akola MC are better encroachers than encroachers themselves.

Furasati said...

Indore mein ek shaam ka tabloid hai ... name 'Prabhat Kiran' !!!

Anonymous said...

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHa

Cool shit!

Archie Says :) said...

LOL !! This was one hilarious post!! Dilip, youre awesome.. . :)