May 22, 2007

3-D movement

DNA's Sunday magazine, "Me", carries a fascinating article by name "Bounce is so last season!!!" (May 20). Lady by name Dalbir Bains is the author, and she says it is about "the serious business of lingerie."

I devoured it. (The article).

It is embellished with several pictures of a stern-eyed woman in underwear, with startling karate-chop hands, in all manner of attractive poses. One that looks like she is in her delivery leap while bowling a cricket ball, except her karate-chop hands are directed towards mid-on and fine-leg (not hers) respectively, and there's no ball.

Makes me quake.

Apart from the pix, these titbits from Ms Bains' effort:
  • Basically, during exercise, research has shown that breasts move in a three dimensional movement, going up and down, in and out, and side-to-side.

  • A good sports bra designed with the bust in mind will make your workouts more comfortable and prevent back ache and possibly black eyes!

  • [I]t was recently reported by Shock Absorber sports bras that their sports bra has been proven to reduce breast movement by up to 74 per cent.

  • As part of our lingerie building wardrobe, a sports bra is a must for most of us.
As I said, fascinating. Though as ever, I have a few questions.

  • What might a "lingerie building wardrobe" be?

  • Are there bras designed with something other than the bust in mind? Like, for example, eyes? Maybe that's how they produce black eyes? Nevertheless, I would very much like to know the precise process by which they produce black eyes. Does it have something to do with bra flinging?

  • I would very much like to know about that research that "has shown" that three-dimensional movement. In fact, I hereby offer my services to support such research. In fact, please please please let me participate in such research.

  • I would very much like to know what kind of measurements led to that 74 per cent figure. In fact, I hereby offer my services in that direction too. Partly so that I can verify it wasn't a mere 73 per cent reduction, or as much as 75 per cent, but precisely 74 per cent. But mostly because I have a deep and abiding scientific interest in such movement. I also have my tongue hanging out and a glazed look in my eyes, but that won't interfere with my research. I will do my breast. Sorry, bust. Sorry, best.
  • 5 comments:

    thoughts of a blank mind said...

    hilarious!!!

    I tried to get a look at the original article but couldn't find!! could you provide the link to original article!!

    Dilip D'Souza said...

    ToaBM: glad you liked it! I can't quite get you the link directly to the original article, but you can see it (and apparently download a PDF) if you go here and click on "44" and then "45" in the row of page numbers at the top. (The article is spread over those two pages). The picture of the lady bowling is on page 45.

    Have fun!

    Anonymous said...

    Off-topic and maybe personal/ irrelevant. sorry in advance.

    Couldnt help wondering how your conversations with Annie Zaidi ("a man may look at a woman if she is in his line of vision") go on stuff like these posts.

    on 2nd thoughts, dont answer this.

    regards,
    Jai

    thoughts of a blank mind said...

    thanx for the link!! but it seems i dont have access to it!! can't dnld the pdf!!

    Pegasus said...

    :)) i think i wil have to add u to my blogroll