September 17, 2008

Two bits

I'm sitting in Bob's home in Nebraska, having breakfast with him. I've liked this dude since we first met, in a bar just last night. The reasons are his warmth, his relish in laughing at himself, and a willingness to speak his mind. And he has shown all that in abundance, while chatting this morning.

Now he gets a call. "Hey Ed, how are ya?" he bellows into the phone, clearly delighted to hear from Ed. They talk for several minutes while I finish my slices of delicious home-made banana bread. And then Bob says, "Ed, before you hang up I gotta tell you a couple stories."

The first goes like this:

"This couple, see, they get into a major-league argument. The man gets so angry, he calls her a two-bit whore. She's so mad at that, she beats him to death with a bag full of quarters."

Ed laughs enough for me to hear him through the phone and across the table. Bob in his chair, he's rocking the table he's laughing so hard.

When he stops laughing and wipes tears from his eyes, the second story goes like this.

"This other couple, they lose a lot of money, they're in pretty poor shape financially. So the wife decides to sell herself to make a little cash. She goes out one night, and comes back in the morning with a bag full of cash.

"They count it, and there's seventeen dollars and ten cents.

The husband goes, who's the cheap bastard who gave you just ten cents?

The wife says, all of 'em did.

She was busy that night, the wife."

Ed's laughing through the phone again. I'm done with my banana bread.

3 comments:

km said...

A two-bit whore ought to have hit the man with a zero and a one?

Bob said...

Come on, why do you attribute the jokes to some unknown Ed? I told you the first joke and you told me the second. -Bob

ray said...

Hi ,

I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be very good.. u write well.. Why don't you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘Death Ends Fun’ took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)

Cheers,