Tweet bulletin: DEL

Sitting at Delhi airport two days ago for a few hours, waiting to catch a flight, I opened up my laptop and began to tweet about what I saw around me. A fun experience, all told. For you poor souls who missed out on my tweets of wisdom, here they are, tweaked a bit but all in one place. Perhaps they add up to a snapshot of the airport, circa late 2010.

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At Delhi airport (when was it last called Palam?), because I couldn't get tix to travel my preferred way, money- & otherwise: train. Too bad.

Couple opposite, 40-something, blue bag across both their laps, sharing earphones, satisfied smile on their faces as they bop slightly to music.

Headline today about how Delhi has the most obese kids. Looking around, it's true. Not one kid has zipped past who is not plump at best.

Ad nearby for VW Vento asks readers to "Turn on Your Bluetooth Now" to get messages about the car. Are there really people who would do so?

Guy sitting beside me is staring fixedly at a newspaper ad for a slimming program, specifically at the bust marked "36" that's the major feature of the ad.

I mean fixedly.

Another guy opposite gets up to go to his gate; before picking up his bag he bends forward, then backwards, and then sticks out his stomach. Now gone.

I haven't understood why the PA system announcing flights operates in continuous mode: adds to the noise yet it is hard to understand. Useless.

Two Kingfisher hostesses traipse past stylishly in high heels. Behind them, their male colleague slouches along, as different as possible from ladies.

Every time I hear "Appa" I look around. But it's not my kids, who are buried somewhere in the bookstore.

They have been instructed to ask every 10 minutes for "Roadrunner", thus suggesting to the owner that it is a hugely popular book. Will it work?

Shamefaced admission: I had never heard "Waka Waka" and "Waving Flag". Really. I figure I'm the last man alive who could make that claim.

But at the kids urging, I watched Waka last night and Waving Flag just now. Loved them both. What energy, what style.

Woman behind says to another woman behind, in Marathi, "We just went to Sikkim and it was so hot there!" Was it? I don't know.

What a delight airports (and stations, and malls ...) are if you have the time to stop and watch the parade of humanity pass.

Here comes a European-looking lady wearing a hat nearly identical to the one I'm wearing, except with a string around her neck. Mine's better.

Boy, and now she's made a beeline for the seat next to mine and has sat down! (Bust-picture-starer has vanished).

She's reading a page on which I can see only these words "Owain mounted his horse". Not inspiring.

Everyone who pulls out a laptop in a place like this invariably looks around importantly as s/he does so. Myself no exception.

Hat lady just closed up her magazine and cackled loudly.

I wonder if the bookshop owner has got sick yet of kids coming up to ask for "Roadrunner".

Not far away, a man and woman are standing next to each other, talking on phones. As usual, I am convinced they are speaking to each other.

Why is it an article of faith that guys who pump weights simply have to wear ridiculously tight clothes? Do women go for this ghastly look?

Then again, *women* in tight clothes ... hmm. So why not men?

Man opposite me says into his handsfree: "Dude she actually called him gay! Now we can all call him gay! How stupid is that?" WTF moment.

Another guy opposite was reading a magazine with Ajay Devgn on the cover, and has suddenly slumped back and is fast asleep. Was it that boring?

I mean, seriously asleep. Someone just knocked hard into his knees as they passed, and this guy didn't move. Also how to pronounce Devgn?

Is it my imagination or are fewer and fewer women wearing saris these days? In this 1.5 hours here, I've seen three.

And this is your DEL airport tweet bulletin, signing off.