Ma, annul that contract!

Notes from here and there ... well, from the Hindustan Times:

From the "Love Actually..." column (which alert readers of this space will know constitutes my favourite reading material), March 11:

To Rajitha: I want you to say that I love you and I miss you. Want to know who I am mail ma at [email address]

Yes, but why are you bringing your mother into this?

Hi: This is an invitation to all middle women, if you are looking for a male friend for real fun in your life then mail me at [email address]

Thank you, but why the preference for the middle? What about first- and last-borns? How will they find real fun? Don't you give a damn about them?

***
From the Style section, March 18, article about upcoming "fashion weeks" titled "Book that look now":

Anybody going into the fashion week must keep these things at hand: the Look Books and the Line Cards of their respective collections.

Damn! And I brought my Cook Book. Recipes, anyone?

The Wills Lifestyle Fashion Week will introduce the concept of two runways for the first time in the country.

What a relief! It's been a mighty pain, getting all these aircraft all over the country into the air from this single runway. I mean, they say there's Delhi airport, and Bombay airport, and Bangalore airport, but the truth can now be told: all these years, there's been just one runway in this country. So we should be grateful to WLFW for this bold new concept of two runways.

***
Same issue, interview with model Ujjwala Raut titled "The runway rocks" (not sure which runway, but be assured that it rocks):

Q: There is an absence of a supermodel in India today. What is your comment on that?

A: I think it is incorrect to say that India does not have a supermodel. I have been doing great work outside India for many years now, being its biggest fashion ambassador wherever I go!

Also being its biggest swollen head wherever I go!

***
Ad for Phoenix Hyundai in the issue of March 16 proclaims:

We also specialize in:

• Annul Maintenance Contract
  
• Denting of all cars
  
• Computerized Wheel Aliment

Well, that's good! I never liked those maintenance contracts, best to annul them as soon as I've signed them, right at the dealer! And yeah, my wheels needs nourishment from time to time, though how has this been computerized? And by golly, I'm glad they dent all cars! Wouldn't want them denting just mine!